Dielheimer Fest

This weekend (actually 3 days) was our village festival. We are especially lucky, as we live down the block from the village festplatz. There were rides, games, live music, and tons of food and drink. Every club in Dielheim – the handball teams, the soccer team, the gun club, even our landlord’s table-tennis club, had a food or drink tent. These weren’t corndogs; they were sit-down meals and huge beers.

So each day we went down, the kids rode a few rides, we had fresh waffles and people watched. The whole village comes, of course, so there were all kinds. There were the Omas and Opas (Grandmas and Grandpas), families of all sorts, young Turkish boys with spiked hair and eyebrows so groomed and waxed that I feel like my own look like I pasted two fake mustaches above my eyes, and people hugging and shaking hands having a great time together– I loved it.

The kids loved a ride called the Octopus (this is actually the same ride I blogged about the last time we had a fest. It’s the one with the mermaid on top and the sci-fi porn on the backdrop. Even more confusing, the sci-fi porn scenes are interspersed with Albert Einstein, Elizabeth Taylor, Elvis, Madonna, Farrah Fawcett, and Dr Zeus (sp?) from the Planet of the Apes who has 2 bikini-clad slave girls. Yeah, I don’t get it either) and the bumper cars.

On the bumper cars you ride two to a car, but only one drives. So the first turn Vance drove. His strategy is to go back and forth through the middle, sometimes just spinning in the middle, creating the maximum number of gleefully head-rattling collisions.

Now it’s Emily’s turn to man the wheel. Hands at 10 and 2. She makes proper oval laps, using great precision maneuvering to avoid every car coming at her to collide. For Vance it’s a demolition derby. For Emily it’s an obstacle course. Good thing she gets the first drivers license.

The highlight of the weekend for me was watching a guy riding a swing ride(there's a photo of the ride below). You stand in a boat-shaped swing and use your own weight to propel yourself back and forth as high as you can go (yes, you do the work. It’s pure profit for the guy who brings that ride). And you rock until the worker pulls a brake. The two on either end will go as high as parallel to the ground. But the one in the middle will go 360 degrees if you put enough momentum to it.

So, up steps a too-cool-for-school teen boy. His jeans are hanging low on his hips, so a few inches of his boxers show (you know the look). He’s going to rock this thing with all his friends watching. Back and forth. Higher and higher. Finally he 360s the thing. Upside down.

Now, remember those loose pants? The momentum has dislodged their delicate balance. He comes down from the top and they slide to his ankles. That was funny enough. But every time he goes upside down they slide back to his waist, then back down to his ankles as he goes down. Boxers, pants. boxers, pants. He pants-es himself with every rotation. Remember the worker who has to pull the brake to help you stop? He’s just standing there. I am not usually prone to schadenfruede (America’s Funniest Home videos makes me cringe), but I have not laughed that hard in a while!

Next week, the Rauenberger Fest (the next village over from us.)!

A small scene from the fest (with a tasteful view of the Octopus in the background)

A candy kiosk. An overwhelming selection for a kid. We got bonbons, nougat, gummy candy and Pop Rocks.


The boat swing ride. I didn't have the camera when the cool kid was pants-ing himself, but you do see a kid in the middle about to 360 over the top.