A German Job Offer

(This part I wrote yesterday)

Strange encounter at the mall today.

I was at the German mall today shopping for Christmas presents. While browsing in H+M, a man approached me. The next second went like this in my head - "He's asking if I need help, right?. When he stops talking I will say I am browsing. How do I say that again? Wait he's about 45, and he's much too well dressed to work at H+M. Why is he still talking?"

I don't recognize one word he has said, so I break in with "My German is not good." He says something else in German. I'm blank. Then he starts in a combination of German I can catch and a few English words. I'll just say it all in English. "Oh, English? Do you live here? (yes, I live in Heidelberg) My work is in Marketing. I am looking for interesting person(s) to work in marketing. The 2 women I work with speak excellent English. I would like to offer you a job."

So I say again, "But my German is not good." He starts again, "My company is around the world. You are working now?" So I respond that, no, I am a housefrau (housewife).Then he says something about "19" and it being a global company again, and again it's marketing, then "Would you be interested?"

So, this job apparently has no qualifications. Because he knows nothing about me. Quite frankly I am not interesting enough for a job whose only qualifier is "interesting." And, as he has thrown me off by this whole encounter, I was pretty bumbling and blushed (I can't handle focused attention. Combined with feeling like an idiot for not being able to understand him, I could feel my face getting hot. I don't mind talking to a crowd, but only one person making too-much eye-contact and I turn red.)

Now if I was 20 I'd say this guy wants someone to sell encyclopedias, or Kirby vacuums. Or, what's the German word for Amway? But I'm obviously 40. And I was dressed pretty nice for the mall. I had a really beautiful new blue sweater. So I decided to forego jeans and wear a skirt and heeled boots. It was very German-hip well-dressed. So, if it's a job with no qualifications, I am very over-qualified, over-aged, and over-dressed. And quite frankly that would be a little insulting, right?

So he asks if he can give me a card. Ok. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. It says Marketing und Beratung (Marketing and Consultation or Advice - something like that).

He says again that his 2 associates speak excellent English. Would I be interested?

So - do I want a job? No. Do I want a job from a guy in a mall? Uh, big no. Am I really curious about what's going on here? Yeah. So I say yes. "Gabriella" is going to call me and tell me more.

(This part happened tonight)

So, tonight I was sitting in a meeting on base and my phone rings about my German job offer.

(first this is even funnier with the accent as I was able to tell it to Eric, but here goes ...) "Hello am I speaking to Valarie Troil? Valarie! I am sitting here with Thomas who you met yesterday at Rhein Neckar Zentrum (the mall). He is so fortunate to have met you! He tells me that you are so nice."

"Valarie our company is Marketing in nature. We are worldwide in our business and very successful. It is very difficult to explain all to you over the phone. May we meet for coffee, perhaps at the Rhein Neckar Zentrum and I may take 20 minutes and show you our literature with our company?"

"Can't you explain anything about your company now?"

Laughs. "Oh ,it is very difficult. Much easier over coffee to show you. We market trend products - beauty and health, cars (I think she said cars. That doesn't make sense.) It is a very enormous platform. You may do this job even with another job (red flag warning light). And you may make very much money (my scam sense are tingling). And this opportunity continues. Your children will be able to benefit (what?). May we meet?"

So right here I know enough to know what this sounds like. So I say, "Thank you so much for calling me, but I am not interested."

"But Valarie, may I ask how you are not interested?"

"I am not interested, but thank you so much for calling me. Have a nice evening."

"But Valarie! May I ask what you think?"

"Well, in America we have this company called Amway. This sounds like that. I am familiar with that, and I am not interested, but thank you for calling me. Have a nice evening."

Long pause

Get ready for it...

"Well, Valarie ... I must tell you .. this is Amway. (Bing Bing Bing, we have a winner. Even in Germany? Man, they are worldwide. Why am I a target for Amway? Eric and I have been approached enough times - with the Amway pick-up line, "You look familiar. What's your name?" to know that's Amway. Eric even has a fake name to give. And once he completely threw a guy who said "Wouldn't you like to make more money?" by saying "No, I'm good. I've got enough." The guy just stood there. You can't persuade that.) May I ask what you know about Amway?"

"I think it's a pyramid scheme, isn't it?"

"Oh Valarie. I think you do not know our products. We have many quality products."

"I think I would not be very successful with your business, but thank you so much for calling. Have a nice evening. Goodbye."

She acquiesces and says Goodbye.

So now, what about the Troils appeals to Amway? Either I look like I need money or I look like I know a lot of people and could sell something. Well the joke's on you Amway. I can already pay my bills and I'm an introvert. I'm the only military wife I know not outgoing enough to try Pampered Chef or Avon or something. I couldn't sell pizza stones to people who want pizza stones! (by the way, I need another pizza stone. Those things are awesome!)

So, there you have it. Amway International.

By the way, "Could I interest you in a money making opportunity in your spare time? I'll call you."

Love you - Val